Aesop revised by Circus
This entry was originally posted on 7 July 2003 at 11:15 a.m.
Once upon a time, Hare challenged Tortoise to a race. See, Hare was an arrogant egomaniac who owned a new car that was very shiny and very fast, while Tortoise was a humble and down-to-earth type who owned an old car that was very sensible and not quite so fast. Hare knew this about Tortoise so he figured the race was in the bag...if Tortoise accepted.
Tortoise, who was an easy-going fellow, agreed to the race, knowing in his heart that there was no way he'd win. He figured it might be fun just to get out on the highway for a little while. Hare was thrilled.
On the morning of the race they met at a rest stop on the interstate and shook hands. Hare's eyes gleamed with the confident anticipation of a shark, but Tortoise's smile was easy and unfazed. They climbed into their respective cars (Hare had washed and waxed his for the occasion), and started their engines. Hare let Tortoise lead them down the on-ramp, and off they went!
As soon as their tires were on the interstate, Hare zipped out to the passing lane and floored it. He was sure he was going to beat that sucker, Tortise. Hare dodged in and out of traffic, making liberal use of his middle finger. Meanwhile, Tortoise shook his head, maintaining his speed (about five miles an hour over the speed limit), and found a good radio station that played music he could sing along to for the duration of the race. He was content as his tires hummed along the asphalt, even though he knew he'd never beat Hare.
But we already know that's not quite true.
Hare, who had just passed someone on the right and cut across two lanes of traffic to get back to the passing lane, and who was driving about 85 miles an hour, didn't see the State Trooper positioned along the highway. The next thing he knew, there were flashing red and blue lights behind him--he'd been caught red-handed! He thought about outrunning the police officer, but he already had a few points on his license and he didn't want to take the chance of having it revoked altogether, so he pulled over instead.
The State Trooper, who was pleased that he had now filled his quota for the month, called up Hare's driving record on his computer--and what a record it was! There was no way he was going to let Hare off with a mere warning. No, this warranted a nice, juicy ticket with a stern warning that Hare was treading dangerously close to losing his license.
Neither Hare nor the State Trooper saw Tortoise drive by them, but he was waiting at the meeting spot they had chosen--near the off-ramp just off the interstate--when Hare arrived.
The moral? Aesop's Fables are much more fun when they involve State Troopers and shiny, fast cars.
Once upon a time, Hare challenged Tortoise to a race. See, Hare was an arrogant egomaniac who owned a new car that was very shiny and very fast, while Tortoise was a humble and down-to-earth type who owned an old car that was very sensible and not quite so fast. Hare knew this about Tortoise so he figured the race was in the bag...if Tortoise accepted.
Tortoise, who was an easy-going fellow, agreed to the race, knowing in his heart that there was no way he'd win. He figured it might be fun just to get out on the highway for a little while. Hare was thrilled.
On the morning of the race they met at a rest stop on the interstate and shook hands. Hare's eyes gleamed with the confident anticipation of a shark, but Tortoise's smile was easy and unfazed. They climbed into their respective cars (Hare had washed and waxed his for the occasion), and started their engines. Hare let Tortoise lead them down the on-ramp, and off they went!
As soon as their tires were on the interstate, Hare zipped out to the passing lane and floored it. He was sure he was going to beat that sucker, Tortise. Hare dodged in and out of traffic, making liberal use of his middle finger. Meanwhile, Tortoise shook his head, maintaining his speed (about five miles an hour over the speed limit), and found a good radio station that played music he could sing along to for the duration of the race. He was content as his tires hummed along the asphalt, even though he knew he'd never beat Hare.
But we already know that's not quite true.
Hare, who had just passed someone on the right and cut across two lanes of traffic to get back to the passing lane, and who was driving about 85 miles an hour, didn't see the State Trooper positioned along the highway. The next thing he knew, there were flashing red and blue lights behind him--he'd been caught red-handed! He thought about outrunning the police officer, but he already had a few points on his license and he didn't want to take the chance of having it revoked altogether, so he pulled over instead.
The State Trooper, who was pleased that he had now filled his quota for the month, called up Hare's driving record on his computer--and what a record it was! There was no way he was going to let Hare off with a mere warning. No, this warranted a nice, juicy ticket with a stern warning that Hare was treading dangerously close to losing his license.
Neither Hare nor the State Trooper saw Tortoise drive by them, but he was waiting at the meeting spot they had chosen--near the off-ramp just off the interstate--when Hare arrived.
The moral? Aesop's Fables are much more fun when they involve State Troopers and shiny, fast cars.
posted by Circus at 12:35 PM
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