Pride
This entry was originally posted on 15 June 2003 at 12:13 p.m.
Yesterday there was a gay pride parade here in Albany. It wasn't huge, but it was larger than i expected. It started out at the bottom of Hamilton Street in Center Square, moved across the neighborhood via upper Swan Street, then turned up State Street (which is one-way in the other direction), and headed into Washington Park. I caught the parade at the corner of State and Dove, then made my way to the park (where i was pleasantly surprised to find a rather large crowd of spectators). I checked out the tables under the tents, then headed off to rent the last DVD in the first season of Six Feet Under.
See, i enjoy these events, but i'm not hardcore. I've met a lot of people who make being gay or lesbian their entire identity--culturally, socially, psychologically, and politically--and that sort of thing just doesn't sit well with me. I practice, believe in, and enjoy more things in life than my sexual orientation: science, arts, writing, photography, maskmaking (there is a reason for the "mask" in "circusmask," after all), music, diddling around on the Web, singing in the car, eating good food, hanging out with people i've recently come to call friends--and not one of these things is directly tied to my orientation. It's just another facet of who i am.
So why was i bothered so much when later, as i was walking down the street, i saw a group of people standing around talking, and one of them (a young African-American woman) said, "Yeah, where's straight pride month?" I wasn't sure whether her words expressed her own opinion or whether they quoted someone else (either out of agreement or sarcasm). Being so unsure, i didn't want to stop and butt my nose in where it didn't belong. But it did make me think about the whole idea of dedicating a month to the pride of any given group.
It occurred to me that there was a certain amount of irony in her words: what would her reaction have been had i stopped and said, "Yeah, and what about white pride month?" I'm sure i would have gotten an earful.
It bothers me that people seem to make a huge distinction between race and sexual orientation in terms of how we relate to them. Clearly, they're different aspects of a person. But they're very similar: just as one can't change one's race, i believe one can't change one's orientation. One might be able to hide who he or she is (both racially and sexually--it's called "passing" and it's been going on for decades on both sides of the coin), but one cannot change these fundamental parts of the self. I know that there are millions of people out there who disagree with this, but most of them are straight and have never questioned their sexuality (and most of them approach the issue from a religious standpoint).
Think of it this way: who would have chosen to be gay or lesbian in the '80s in the US, when there was absolutely no anti-discrimination legislation on the books regarding sexual orientation? Who would choose to be gay or lesbian when it might mean that walking down the street might lead to a beating? Who would choose to be gay or lesbian after hearing about Matthew Shepard? Who would choose to be gay or lesbian in parts of the world where homosexuality is grounds for shame, torture, or death?
In this country, the government has made a practice of dedicating a month to the pride of certain groups of people (African-Americans, women, Asian-Americans, etc.). Invariably, these people belong to groups that are either statistical minorities or are marginalized in society. It's supposed to be a way of promoting awareness of these groups. Of creating a platform for understanding their unique experiences and perspectives as citizens of this country. Of recognizing them as a group, as individuals, and as integral parts of society. Maybe it doesn't work. Maybe it's something we celebrate falsely, posting a few banners here and there, recommending books on the topic, inviting people to speak about it, all the while wishing it were over so we could get back to the business of living our lives.
But there's a reason for it. And if it doesn't work, it's because we allow it not to--because we allow ourselves to be marginalized and not heard, because we settle for a single month of pride rather than making it clear that we exist twelve months of the year whether we celebrate it or not, because once the month (or week or day) is over, we slip back into our hiding spaces and allow ourselves to be marginalized again.
I'm not saying that we should make our entire existence center around that one aspect of who we are. That would just play into the stereotypes and the politics, and it would defeat the purpose of making ourselves known as equals. What i'm saying is that we should simply be who we are. We should make it clear that there's more to a person than his or her race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. And that we are all of these things all of the time. That we are just like everyone else: human, confused, complex, and alive.
Happy Pride.
Yesterday there was a gay pride parade here in Albany. It wasn't huge, but it was larger than i expected. It started out at the bottom of Hamilton Street in Center Square, moved across the neighborhood via upper Swan Street, then turned up State Street (which is one-way in the other direction), and headed into Washington Park. I caught the parade at the corner of State and Dove, then made my way to the park (where i was pleasantly surprised to find a rather large crowd of spectators). I checked out the tables under the tents, then headed off to rent the last DVD in the first season of Six Feet Under.
See, i enjoy these events, but i'm not hardcore. I've met a lot of people who make being gay or lesbian their entire identity--culturally, socially, psychologically, and politically--and that sort of thing just doesn't sit well with me. I practice, believe in, and enjoy more things in life than my sexual orientation: science, arts, writing, photography, maskmaking (there is a reason for the "mask" in "circusmask," after all), music, diddling around on the Web, singing in the car, eating good food, hanging out with people i've recently come to call friends--and not one of these things is directly tied to my orientation. It's just another facet of who i am.
So why was i bothered so much when later, as i was walking down the street, i saw a group of people standing around talking, and one of them (a young African-American woman) said, "Yeah, where's straight pride month?" I wasn't sure whether her words expressed her own opinion or whether they quoted someone else (either out of agreement or sarcasm). Being so unsure, i didn't want to stop and butt my nose in where it didn't belong. But it did make me think about the whole idea of dedicating a month to the pride of any given group.
It occurred to me that there was a certain amount of irony in her words: what would her reaction have been had i stopped and said, "Yeah, and what about white pride month?" I'm sure i would have gotten an earful.
It bothers me that people seem to make a huge distinction between race and sexual orientation in terms of how we relate to them. Clearly, they're different aspects of a person. But they're very similar: just as one can't change one's race, i believe one can't change one's orientation. One might be able to hide who he or she is (both racially and sexually--it's called "passing" and it's been going on for decades on both sides of the coin), but one cannot change these fundamental parts of the self. I know that there are millions of people out there who disagree with this, but most of them are straight and have never questioned their sexuality (and most of them approach the issue from a religious standpoint).
Think of it this way: who would have chosen to be gay or lesbian in the '80s in the US, when there was absolutely no anti-discrimination legislation on the books regarding sexual orientation? Who would choose to be gay or lesbian when it might mean that walking down the street might lead to a beating? Who would choose to be gay or lesbian after hearing about Matthew Shepard? Who would choose to be gay or lesbian in parts of the world where homosexuality is grounds for shame, torture, or death?
In this country, the government has made a practice of dedicating a month to the pride of certain groups of people (African-Americans, women, Asian-Americans, etc.). Invariably, these people belong to groups that are either statistical minorities or are marginalized in society. It's supposed to be a way of promoting awareness of these groups. Of creating a platform for understanding their unique experiences and perspectives as citizens of this country. Of recognizing them as a group, as individuals, and as integral parts of society. Maybe it doesn't work. Maybe it's something we celebrate falsely, posting a few banners here and there, recommending books on the topic, inviting people to speak about it, all the while wishing it were over so we could get back to the business of living our lives.
But there's a reason for it. And if it doesn't work, it's because we allow it not to--because we allow ourselves to be marginalized and not heard, because we settle for a single month of pride rather than making it clear that we exist twelve months of the year whether we celebrate it or not, because once the month (or week or day) is over, we slip back into our hiding spaces and allow ourselves to be marginalized again.
I'm not saying that we should make our entire existence center around that one aspect of who we are. That would just play into the stereotypes and the politics, and it would defeat the purpose of making ourselves known as equals. What i'm saying is that we should simply be who we are. We should make it clear that there's more to a person than his or her race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. And that we are all of these things all of the time. That we are just like everyone else: human, confused, complex, and alive.
Happy Pride.
posted by Circus at 2:39 PM
2 Comments:
As expected, you bring issues to light in these posts that are much deeper than the "Coke vs. Pepsi" level debates I am accustom to. This IS like a "Best of" Blog!
Good to see you yesterday!
Hey hey! Thanks for the comment! I gotta admit, i'm fairly pleased with how this "best of" thing is working. And it's fun, to boot.
Anyway, it was great seeing you two last night. I hope you were able to go home right away! (Any offers yet?)
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